As a wedding celebrant, I am finding more and more modern couples are looking to personalise their ceremonies through their wedding readings. It’s a lovely, meaningful way to include friends and family.

Words take on a whole new meaning when they are uttered moments before your vows – so this isn’t a process you want to rush! But if you’re not sure where to start, I have put together an easy guide on everything you need to know for choosing your perfect wedding readings.

Firstly, talk with your celebrant

This is a first key step. As a humanist celebrant with a wealth of experience, I have lots of suggestions on wedding ceremony reading ideas. A good celebrant will work with you throughout the course of your wedding planning to make sure they get to know you as individuals and learn what makes you tick. So there is no one better to discuss your reading ideas with.

When you’ve decided on your readings, your celebrant will be able to weave them into the bespoke wedding script at just the right time, introducing the readings and the readers in the right way so they feel seamless.

Choose your readers wisely

It’s always good to choose readers who will feel comfortable delivering in front of an audience. You want someone who is confident; someone who won’t rush through the reading as they’re desperate to get to the end so they can run offstage! Or someone who will be anxious for weeks beforehand, having sleepless nights at the thought of standing up in front of a room full of people.

An ideal wedding ceremony reader will:

· Speak at a slow and steady pace.

· Feel confident with public speaking.

· Be able to project their voice so they can be heard by those at the back.

Learning the reading off by heart can really help with delivery. It is never compelling when a reader is staring down into a piece of paper in their hands the whole time, instead of looking at the audience.

How many readings should you have at a wedding?

This is a popular question I am often asked. It is entirely up to you as a couple, but as a celebrant who sees lots of weddings, I’d say that 2 is the perfect number to choose for your wedding ceremony readings. If you have a lot more than this, it might end up dragging on a little for guests. In the same way, choosing readings that aren’t very longwinded is also key. If you love a reading that is long, look to edit it down to the most salient part to be read out, instead. At the same time, wedding readings that are too brief can feel rushed and insubstantial. You want each reading to be at least 1 minute long when spoken.

If you have more friends and family you’d like to involve in the ceremony, you can always ask 2 or more friends to do one reading between them – doing a joint reading together line-by-line can be quite effective. I saw a ceremony recently where the couple had picked 10 different friends to read a line of a funny poem each – they each stood up from their seats for their part and then sat back down after they’d spoken. It made for a really spontaneous feeling, hilarious and memorable moment in the ceremony.

If you have loads of readings you love and can’t choose, you could always have a few printed on your order of service, or even have them up around the venue.

Remember that if you are having a humanist ceremony, there are other ways to include friends and family in a very meaningful way too – as part of a lovely symbolic act or ritual.

Get personal

This is so key. As a celebrant, I notice the readings that land in the hearts of guests are those that feel truly authentic to the couple. So if love poems and Shakespeare feel true to you, go with that. If you aren’t a lovey-dovey couple, maybe you want to find something meaningful that is not overly romantic. Choose something that personally resonates and keeps with the style of your ceremony.

Think outside the box with your wedding reading choices

There are so many options to choose from! Particularly if you are looking for something to read at a non-religious wedding. You can spread your net widely and draw from all forms of popular culture as well as traditional sources. Some of the loveliest readings I’ve seen are from TV, film, music and literature. You can see some of my favourite modern readings HERE. They include readings from the TV series Fleabag, Sex and the City as well as contemporary books like “Everything I Know About Love” by Dolly Alderton.

Go DIY

It can sometimes be lovely to have readings written especially for you and your ceremony. At my wedding, I asked one of our dear friends to do a reading and said that she could choose something herself to read out. Instead, she decided to write something – and we didn’t see it beforehand! This could of course be a bit of a risk and isn’t for everyone, but for us it was really beautiful and the words she’d written made for a lovely moment.

Is it allowed?

If you’re having a Civil Ceremony, you will need to bear this in mind. In civil ceremonies, no reference to religion is allowed – whatsoever. So if you choose a poem or song lyrics to read out that have a reference to God, you may find the registrar asking you to take out the reference or change the reading all together.

Humanist ceremonies are a lot more relaxed about this. While they are fundamentally non-religious, too, there is a lot more flexibility.

If it’s a personalised wedding ceremony you are looking for, wedding readings can be a lovely way of doing this. But if you really want to make your wedding TRULY personalised and unique to you both as a couple, having a humanist wedding ceremony is the best way of going about this. Your celebrant will work with you extensively before the big day and will weave lots of lovely personal detail about you and your partner into ceremony so that it comes alive with character, as well as adding readings and lovely rituals that can include your family and friends.

If you’d like to find out more about putting together a humanist ceremony, get in touch.

The Best Tips on How to Choose Your Wedding Readings