Back in spring, I married Nic and Natalie at their wonderfully unique alternative wedding at Electrowerkz, Islington.

They had their legal wedding at Islington Town Hall that morning, with just a few witnesses, then had a costume change for their big wedding a few hours later.

A place close to their hearts, they’d forged many great memories in this venue, from gigs to club nights - specifically Slimelight (their personal favorite) which was being held their after the wedding that same night. They appreciate the amount of history and joy Electrowerkz has provided to so many people, embracing outsiders and providing them with a safe community to grow friendships. It was an honour for them to become part of its history.

Introduced by a shared friend (by way of Japan,) their relationship was born from a mutual love of the niche analogue photography world of Lomography. They had mutual friends and would go on photo walks, and had found themselves in the same rooms together multiple times at parties - yet somehow without ever actually meeting.

At home on their anniversary, after 9 years of together, Nic proposed. It was low-key, relaxed and absolutely perfect - a normal evening, the two of them and their son, Max, sitting on the sofa, with Lilith the cat on the footstool. If you were to take a snapshot of their homelife, that would be it.

They threw an absolutely epic wedding, which was wonderfully them. Natalie came down the aisle to Bushido, by Beneath My Shade, looking incredible. Their son, Max, was very involved in the ceremony creation. He gave me some excellent intel about his mum and dad during the planning meeting stage, which we included in the wedding. On the day, he walked down the aisle, and read We are all a little weird by Dr. Seuss.

Their friend read one of my favorite readings ever, Reading from Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files: “Question: How do I not have my heart broken?” It’s so good I’ve popped it at the bottom of this blog for you to have a read.

It was great to catch up with Nic, all this time later, about their day.

How did you find out about celebrant ceremonies and what made you decide to have one?

We knew from the start that we wanted something special for our wedding. Sure, registrars handle the legal bits, but we were after someone who could really make the ceremony feel like 'us'. Being somewhat alternative and not religious, we needed someone who'd get all that!

How was the process of creating your wedding ceremony?

Working with Roxy was amazing. We started with an initial chat that turned into this really long, flowing conversation that included me, my fiancée and even our kid! At one point, Roxy took little Max aside for his own private chat in his bedroom - she really wanted to understand our family from every angle. After that, she drafted up the ceremony outline and we collaborated on adding our own special touches, like the hand fasting and our chosen readings.

Looking back at the day, how did the ceremony feel?

You know how people say their wedding day feels like a blur? We'd actually gotten advice about staying mindful throughout the day to 'save' the memories, and it totally worked! The ceremony is super clear in my mind - I can still see myself watching Roxy speak, seeing our guests' reactions, and standing opposite my wife for our vows. We even played rock-paper-scissors to decide who'd go first!

What was the most special part of your ceremony and why?

It's honestly hard to pick just one part because everything worked so perfectly together. But I particularly loved our chosen readings, especially when Max, our son, found the courage to read that brilliant Dr. Seuss piece about 'weirdness' and falling in love. That was pretty special.

Tell me about your vows

We wrote our own vows, taking inspiration from other couples who'd married before us. Roxy was super helpful, giving us lots of tips and resources. We really wanted to focus on themes of unconditional love and cherishing each other. I think we nailed it!

What would you say to couples considering a celebrant ceremony?

I think celebrant ceremonies are perfect for people seeking a personal touch for their wedding. They really bring in everyone involved in your family and help tell the story of your love to your guests.

How did your wedding ceremony tie in with the rest of your wedding day?

The ceremony was really the anchor of our whole day. We'd done the legal bit at Islington Town Hall with just a couple of guests, but this was our 'proper' ceremony at Electrowerkz. We held it in the Live Room - usually home to DJ sets and live bands! After that, everyone moved on to drinks, nibbles, and the wedding breakfast.

How did your ceremony go down with your guests?

Our guests absolutely loved it! We'd made a point of keeping everything relaxed and inclusive, so people could feel comfortable being themselves. So many people told us how cool and informal it felt, which was exactly what we were aiming for.

How would you describe the vibe/style/look & feel of your day

We got married at Electrowerkz, which is famous for hosting Slimelight, the world's oldest dark music club night. I actually used to go there a bunch in the early 2000s! The centrepiece of the venue is this incredible space with a huge cobbled indoor courtyard where people could hang out, drink and chat. 

Natalie wore this stunning black wedding dress - tulle skirt, corset-style bodice, and a black crown. I went with a black silk shirt, long black jersey coat, and boots. Max had a matching coat, too. We got almost everything from David's Road in Soho. Oh, and the bridal bouquet? Dead, dried flowers - perfect for the vibe!

What's the best piece of advice you would give to other couples getting married?

Weddings can get complicated! Do your research and make a to-do list with deadlines - it really helps keep you on track. Having good suppliers and supportive friends is crucial. Most importantly, get your budget sorted early because it's going to influence a lot of your decisions, and those little costs can really add up!

Tell me about your wedding location. How did you decide on the venue?

We chose Electrowerkz because it means something to us - its history in London's alternative scene, its LGBTQ+ friendly atmosphere, and just how awesome the space is. Funny enough, we were there for something completely different when we both realised it was perfect for our wedding.

If you could do the day all over again, is there anything you'd change?

Honestly, nothing at all. It was phenomenal and gave us memories we'll treasure forever.

Wedding Suppliers:

Outfits: David's Road, Soho

Flowers: Rebel Rebel, Hackney

Venue: Electrowerkz, London

Celebrant: Roxy Hayde

Photos: This Modern Revelry

One of my favorite readings ever, by Nick Cave

Reading from Nick Cave’s Red Hand Files. “Question: How do I not have my heart broken?”

The surest way to avoid a broken heart is to love nothing and no-one — not your partner, your child, your mother or father, your brothers or sisters; not your friends; not your neighbour; not your dog or your cat; not your football team, your garden, your granny or your job. In short, love not the world and love nothing in it. Beware of the things that draw you to love — music, art, literature, cinema, philosophy, nature and religion. Keep your heart narrow, hard, cynical, invulnerable, impenetrable, and shun small acts of kindness; be not merciful, forgiving, generous or charitable — these acts expand the heart and make you susceptible to love — because as Neil Young so plainly and painfully sings, ‘Only love can break your heart.’ In short, resist love, because real love, big love, true love, fierce love, is a perilous thing, and travels surely towards its devastation. A broken heart — that grief of love — is always love’s true destination. This is the covenant of love.

However, to resist love and inoculate yourself against heartbreak is to reject life itself, for to love is your primary human function. It is your duty to love in whatever way you can, and to move boldly into that love — deeply, dangerously and recklessly — and restore the world with your awe and wonder. This world is in urgent need — desperate, crucial need — and is crying out for love, your love. It cannot survive without it.

To love the world is a participatory and reciprocal action — for what you give to the world, the world returns to you, many fold, and you will live days of love that will make your head spin, that you will treasure for all time. You will discover that love, radical love, is a kind of supercharged aliveness, and all that is of true value in the world is animated by it. And, yes, heartache awaits love’s end, but you find in time that this too is a gift — this little death — from which you are reborn, time and again. I have only one piece of advice for you both, and it is the very best that I can give. Love. The world is waiting.

Love, Nick