Last Autumn, right in the middle of that crazy heatwave that hit, I married the lovely Ros and Jimmy in a wine shop in Bermondsey, London. It’s a place they’d fallen in love with over lockdown – the wine shop temporarily transformed into a fruit and veg shop, it became their saviour and go-to place on their daily walks. They became friendly with the owner and eventually asked him if they could get married there. To be clear – this is no normal fruit and veg shop - it’s a super cool archway space under the train lines, with high brick vaulted ceilings and a cool industrial vibe.

They both had very different ideas about what they wanted from a wedding. Ros would have happily eloped and not told anyone. Meanwhile, Jimmy wanted a big party with everyone he’d ever met. They ended up with the best of both worlds. In April 2021, they tied the knot legally at Southwark Registry Office with just four friends present, fulfilling Ros’ wedding dreams. And on the big wedding day, it was Jimmy’s turn.

It was a wonderfully relax affair. They got married in the wine shop with around 60 guests and carried on to their favourite pub for the reception, where more friends joined.

The process of planning Ros and Jimmy’s ceremony with them was delightful. They were a couple who were so open to my wild and fun ceremony suggestions, as well as coming up with ideas of their own. They are a quiz mad couple, and had spent lockdown as quizmasters to a worldwide weekly quiz. OF COURSE they were up for having a mid-ceremony quiz! We had a Beatles group sing-along (All You Need is Love…naturally), wedding advice from Jimmy’s aunt and uncle – happily married for 50 years - who live abroad (which got everyone crying), a ring warming, awesome (and very humorous) personalised vows as well as some of my favourite quirky wedding readings…including John Cooper Clarke and Pulp.

I had the pleasure of catching up with the bride, Ros, to ask her all about the day.

How did you find out about celebrant ceremonies and what made you decide to have one?

We knew we wanted something that felt personal, not very formal or traditional and that felt “us”. At one stage, we talked about getting one of our friends to do the ceremony - but I (Ros) worries a lot and so started to think about how much work that would be for someone, that we’d have to have a script, that it could be awkward and weird - the ceremony might be done within 5 minutes. Even though at this stage, the ceremony felt like just part of the day - our minds were more on just a big party, this didn’t feel right. So I took to google - and found out about celebrants. And then the more I googled and read, the more I realised a celebrant wedding was exactly what we wanted and then it became really important to find the right celebrant.

I started searching for celebrants who liked fun and personal weddings. We quickly went from people who’d not really heard about celebrants to being obsessed with getting the right one! We spoke to lots who were almost right, but that was good enough!

How was the process of creating your wedding ceremony?

It was fun! By the time we spoke to you, we’d done a fair bit of research and had spoken to a few celebrants so we had a few ideas. When we met you and knew we were going to have you as celebrant, we started to be really excited by the ceremony - this was the part of the day that we thought would be a formality, while obviously important to us, I know I’ve been bored at wedding ceremonies before, we didn’t expect this to be the part of the wedding we’d be excited for other people to experience.

But we did start getting really excited by people’s reactions and knowing we were creating something that would be fun for everyone. And we had fun doing things like making the quiz together and LOTS of debates choosing songs / readings etc. Writing our vows together was special too. We were able to say exactly what we wanted and what mattered to us. I miss planning my wedding! 

Looking back at the day, how did the ceremony feel?

It was exactly how I imagined it - but even better. It felt so warm (emotionally and literally - being so hot!) It felt just like us and we could see people enjoying themselves. I was really nervous just before but within the first few minutes, I’d totally relaxed and just enjoyed the whole thing.

What was the most special part of your ceremony and why?

My favourite part was the ring warming while everyone sang “With a Little Help from my Friends”. I’d been worried about that part and people not singing etc - but everyone joined in and we’d chosen that song for a reason - the day was just as much about celebrating all our friends and special people in our lives as it was about us. 

Tell me about your vows

Before doing all this, we didn’t really consider writing our own vows. It a bit cringe, the sort of thing you seen in a cheesy American show. But then we decided that we would write our own vows and make it as personal as the rest of the day. We said the same things to each other but made a few personal little jokes in there like Jimmy saying he would respect the things that are important to me, even if that includes Real Housewives and me being respectful about the importance of a football match result. 

It was good to say things and make promises that are reflective of our relationship and how we view marriage, relationships etc. This is different for every couple so it makes sense that you’d have your own vows. And it was great having the time in in the lead up to the wedding to write vows (with a few disagreements along the way) to remind you why you’re getting married – it meant the planning wasn’t just about who sits next to who at dinner.

What would you say to couples considering a celebrant ceremony?

 Do it! And take your time finding the right celebrant for you - think about what sort of day you want and find someone that can help you create that. Meet a few celebrants and when you meet the right one, you’ll know! And the you can have lots of fun planning an amazing day. It’s so special when your wedding day really reflects who you are as people and as a couple. Makes it so much more special for people getting married and for guests.

How did your wedding ceremony tie in with the rest of your wedding day?

The whole day was just as we wanted - relaxed, fun, a big celebration. We had the ceremony in a wine bar near where we live and the rest of the party in our local. It was about us and being with the people we love. The ceremony set the tone for the rest of the day. The photos, which we love, show how much fun people had - during the ceremony and for the rest of the day. And that’s what we wanted.

How did your ceremony go down with you guests?

They loved it! We’ve had so many people tell us it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to - even months later people still say that to us. I’ve had a friend who says she never cries at weddings tell me she shed a tear. Someone told me that the ring warming made them cry - she felt it was such a privilege to have the chance to hold our rings. People told us that it was great as they felt involved, that it was warm, funny - that they got to know more about us. 

People loved the quiz - even my mum (who had to watch via Zoom due to covid) said the quiz was good fun. She’s pretty traditional when it comes to weddings so I was surprised but pleased that she enjoyed it. Our Canadian nieces loved it and still talk about it now! 

People have said so many wonderful things - and it all reflected what we wanted. People didn’t just feel like they were sitting listening to other people, they felt part of it, they thought it reflected me and Jimmy, it made them laugh, it made them cry. I love it when people tell me how much they loved my wedding! 

If you could do it all again, is there anything you’d change?

No! The music system failed us, it was a bit too hot and my parents had covid and couldn’t be there. So I’d change those things but they are out of our control. The things that we could plan for - it was all wonderful. I don’t think I’d change anything. I just want to do it all again - it was just the best day and I love remembering it and looking at the photos which show how fun it was - they never fail to make me smile.

The joy of their day is really reflected in Ros’ words. And she perfectly articulated the joys of having a celebrant lead ceremony!

Here’s their carefully selected readings that fitted both of them to a T…

I Wanna Be Yours - by John Cooper-Clark

Let me be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust

Let me be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
let me be your ford Cortina
I will never rust
if you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
you call the shots
I wanna be yours

Let me be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
let me be your dreamboat
when you wanna sail away
let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I dont care
I wanna be yours

Let me be your electric meter
I will not run out
let me be the electric heater
you get cold without
let me be your setting lotion
hold your hair with deep devotion
deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
thats how deep is my emotion
deep deep deep deep deep deep
I dont wanna be hers
I wanna be yours

Extract from ‘​My Lighthouse’,​ by Pulp

Come up to my lighthouse for I have something I wish to say
It can wait for a moment; well in fact it can wait all day
I just wanted to bring you up here so you could have the chance to see the beauty of this situation that you could share with me
It may seem strange to talk of love and then lighthouses
It's not strange to me
All alone, you and I in our look out
That's the way to be ​3

Supplier credits:

Venue: Pedro’s wine bar OPS Wines

Photographer: Dan McCurry

Reception Venue: The Grange Pub

Flowers: Green’s Florist

Hair & Makeup: Flaming Bride (loved Alev, she was amazing, would totally recommend and totally gets the doing it your own way wedding vibe)

Shoes: Loeffler Randall

Dress: Self Portrait